


If me and my friends were Akumas...

by Shining_Stars



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Gen, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-11 17:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21225395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shining_Stars/pseuds/Shining_Stars
Summary: Please note- All OC names in this are fake, but they are based on real people. (Sadly in Samson’s case)





	1. Eradicator

“I am Eradicator! Samson WILL DIE!”  
Ladybug sighed. Too early for Akuma death threats on a guy apparently named Samson.

“Why do you hate him so much anyways!?” Chat yelped as he dodged a blast.

The Akuma turned to him and with a flat stare responded “If I answered that dude, we’d be here for a week.”  
“...Got it.”

“Maybe name one thing?” Ladybug suggested, having learned letting an Akuma rant about their problem makes them feel lighter when they are purified. Not physically lighter, obviously, but emotionally yes.

“Well, here’s a few small things; he never does his assigned job, he literally DROOLED on the pillows and beanbags at school so now no one can use them, also he’s just generally ew.”  
Ew indeed, Ladybug agrees, and if those are the small things she wouldn’t want to imagine the biggest.  
(A/N The Lunchbox incident. Yup, that guy.)

“What the heck does generally ew mean?” Chat asks.  
“He went inside the girls toilets. Twice. The second time singing a terrible song he made up about love-well not made up, but he changed the lyrics a bit-”

She was interrupted by a boy singing a Christmas song, (really badly too) and they all turn to him.

“LaSt ChRiStMaS, LeILa GaVe LuCi HeR hEaRt, ThE vErY nExT dAy, ShE sAiD oKaY, tHiS yEaR, tO sAvE hEr FrOm TeArS, sHe GaVe It To SoMeOnE sPeCiAL!” The boy-Samson-wails.

“Oh shut up!!!!!!” The three yell at him, however in response he says, “You all know you love me!” He has a shit-eating grin on his face and walks away (before slamming face first into a pole)

Chat pauses for a second, before turning to Ladybug and stating “I’m with Eradicator, let’s kill him.

Ladybug began to protest, when a very... _disturbing _noise came from behind them.   
Samson was sitting on a bench eating yogurt while wriggling around and moaning in a very sexual way.

She turns to the two and simply says “I’ll get the knife.”

Later she prayed to god that Alya wasn’t filming (she wasn’t; her battery went dead) However, Alya did confirm that Samson was THE WORST person to ever cause an Akuma.

He even beat Chloé. 


	2. Prided

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Couldn’t create better name at 11:27 pm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written at 11:22-11:27 pm before taking a break until 6:03 pm and I continued writing until who knows when and abandoned it for almost a month and came back to it today and ended up with this.

“FEEL MY GAYNESS! Lesbian duck army, _charge!” _Prided cries dramatically.

She turns and mutters to herself (completely unaware of Ladybug and Chat Noir behind her) “Being an Akuma makes stalking and cataloging Luci’s schedule so much easier!”

“E-excuse me?” Chat blinks.

“Really? I should try following him as Lady-” Ladybug begins before cutting herself off, her words eliciting a shocked gape from Chat.

Prided, however, gasped and grasped Ladybug’s hands and grinned.

“I have a fellow Stalking Friend! So what have you done?”

“Uh, well,” Ladybug begins, “I memorized his daily routine, found out his favorite place to spend time, I know his favorite food too...” she trails off, leaving the Akuma grinning madly and Chat re-evaluating his love life.

“Now, why are you Akumatized?”

She sighs.   
“Samson said I wasn’t ‘Gay enough’, whatever THAT means.”

Samson AGAIN? Geez this guy has CLEARLY got issues. (Including the eating-yogurt-and-moaning thing)

“Well you aren’t!” Oh. Oh no.   
“All gay girls wear scrunchies-”

“I do wear scrunchies, every day.”

“And all gay girls are Vsco Girls! And all Vsco girls are gay so-”

He was cut off when a hundred or so of Prided’s Lesbian Duck Army (LDA) start quacking angrily at him.   
Ladybug facepalms. This will be a long fight. 


End file.
